Heart-breaking Holiday Crisis

It’s Valentines Day…but this blog is about Halloween. Sorry.

Halloween is the one official holiday I refuse to celebrate and completely despise. I hate it. Unfortunately, I was born right before this tragedy of a holiday so I have traumatic memories of terrible Halloween-themed birthday parties.

You would think the birthday girl would get to go to Party City and pick out something superb and adorable. Well, not the case in my house. Party City was considered a rip off and my Dad’s closet was “just fine” to find a costume.

WHAT?!

I naturally had the WORST costumes every year…after year…after year…

Here is one of my most scarring birthday parties. As discussed above, I had the privilege of shopping in my father’s closet. So one year my parents threw me another unwarranted Halloween birthday party, costumes required.

Believe me when I tell you, I still to this day I have no idea what I was dressed up as. I’ve narrowed it to two valid options:

1.     Robber

2.     Prisoner

Wow. Those are two winning costumes right there. What little birthday girl dresses up like an ambiguous criminal?

Was I actively robbing banks or already serving my sentence? I could not tell you. No one at the party could tell you. But as I sat on the front stoop greeting all my friends, I certainly got asked this entirely legit question:

Friends: “What are you supposed to be, Shannon?

Me: “I don’t know, maybe a robber or something (sigh)...thanks for coming to my party”

Friends: “Oh, (awkward silence) Happy Birthday. Can you guess what I am?!”

Based on their clearly defined costumes, there was no guess needed. I could easily reply with an accurate answer, such as: Power Ranger, Princess, Ballerina, Cookie Monster, Witch, Ghost…

And then for a few hours, I sat around at my own birthday party, in my own home, watching adorable princess angel ballerina friends wave sparkling wands around.

It was torture.

The only reason I even went trick or treating was because my Dad had me and my siblings compete for who scored the most candy. I won every year. But don’t ask my brother, he will tell you something different and it will just be too confusing for you.

In all seriousness, my only good memory of Halloween is counting candy out of a pillow case at the end of the night. But then I got too afraid to actually eat any of it. Clearly our long time friendly neighbors poisoned it. I saw it happen to other kids on TV. Don’t have to warn me twice.

How about I change it up next year? I will celebrate my birthday on a nude beach wearing my real birthday suit, sipping hundreds of virgin Pina-coladas. BAM. Yearly seasonal crisis solved.

My parents will be so proud!

Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day! Back to celebrating love…<3